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Read: Video games are better without stories Jon Allison: It is a shooter, witn Call of Duty or Halo, but also layers in some role-playing elements. We started playing together weekly, and we got comfortable with frjend other. Trent: There are a lot of cooperative tasks in the game that require anywhere from three to six people. Running those events really forces you to communicate on a different level. Lonely Whittlesford chat a very long time, I had trouble telling the two of them apart.

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Trent: Before meeting some of the other people in this new clan, I probably felt they were more defined, but meeting them in person has become so effortless. Beck: How is developing a friendship over voice chat, focused around this shared activity, different from becoming friends in person? Trent: There are a lot of cooperative tasks in the game that require anywhere from three to six people.

Beck: What was it like when you guys finally met in person?

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Driend dad and I went up to a music festival in Ohio, and one of the guys lived in Ohio and he was going to the same festival. Trent knew Jordan, but Jordan could be a weirdo. Trent: We found the clan through Reddit. Beck: Jordan ended up moving to Richmond, where most of you live—how did that come about? We organized this get-together, but I got there and I realized I have no idea what any of these guys actually look like.

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Destiny was probably the first game where I was comfortable getting to know someone online like that. I had struggled in Seattle to really find connections.

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So when he walked in and sat next to me, it was really weird. It was new to me.

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Read: Xhat games are better without stories Jon Allison: It is a shooter, like Call of Duty or Halo, but also layers in some role-playing elements. Do I want to make friends with him?

Frind actually suggests that people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions. Peter: When you play this type of game, you do get to know people pretty well.

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Be curious Ask questions. We started playing together weekly, and we got comfortable with each other. That started a whole new chapter. Tim: Basically the themes here are video games and drinking. We brought him into our actual, IRL friend group. For a very long time, I had trouble telling the two of them apart. The culmination was when Tim and I threw a party for him. Beck: How did the friendship evolve once you could all see one another in person?

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This was in Give someone a wit It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains. We would just hop on voice chat and talk for an hour and a half, about vacations coming up and how the day went. Peter: He hugs very hard. Our fear assumptions fail to take into the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says.

Research shows the opposite, however, that people nearly always are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted by someone else. One of these guys has also since moved to Richmond. Eventually we ed this larger Destiny clan and got to know a bunch of new guys.

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Tim: Very aggressive. That was when it shifted for me, like, Oh, this is just a friend now. Jon: Jordan got very drunk. If you or someone you know should be featured on The Friendship Files, get in touch at friendshipfiles theatlantic.

You get better at asking better questions, and answering with more interesting responses. Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can help us get past those awkward spots, she says. Peter: Yeah, these are true randos. Courtesy of Peter Phillips Jordan: I found you guys in the theater as the previews were going, because one of you texted your general location.

He met my dad and I at our hotel and hung out with us for three days and it was never awkward or weird.

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I remember Jordan being very touchy-feely, hugging us a lot, and tp about how happy he was to be our friend. And the mental picture you have of what a person looks like based on the voice is never accurate. It seems like this video-game chat is witb that manner of socializing, in a way. A question can either kick off a conversation or keep it going, Sandstrom says.

And yet I spend quite a bit of time talking with friends who I play games with over the heet.